


Slice of Lamprey

by Boonool



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Alcohol, Cooking, F/F, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27968210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boonool/pseuds/Boonool
Summary: Just a slice of life work of Mystia's Lamprey Stand.
Kudos: 2





	Slice of Lamprey

A night like any other night. The crickets are chirping, the fireflies are looming and a crackling fire could be heard from the lantern-lit food cart.

“You gonna order something or is the free water all you can afford?”

The patron looked up from the menu and shifted ever so slightly to the right. “I’m having trouble reading this chicken scratch.”

“Chicken scratch!?”

Settling down right next to a literally beaten path that leads from the village to the Hakurei Shrine, is a small establishment that Mystia set up. A food cart that sells grilled lamprey as it’s signature meal. 

Mystia gave a slap on her knee. “Alright I’ll give you that, it was a pretty good pun.” The chicken admitted.

“I know right? I spent at least ten minutes in frozen time trying to think of that.” the patron said with a beaming smile.

“So the rumors are true. You really can stop time.”

Sitting down at the bar stools was Sakuya Izayoi, head maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

“Why don’t you just stop time and try to comprehend the writing?” Mystia said getting another glass of water ready for her dear customer.

“As much as I can stop the world, I only really use that power to do mundane things like think of something witty to say or skip through crowds of people. This is a new experience and I’d hate to spoil it with my ability.”

Instantly, the glass was emptied.

“Oho! That’s quite interesting.”

“I like to imagine it makes my life just a little bit richer.”

“It sure seems that way. So uh… you gonna order?”

With a furrowed brow, “As much as I stare, I can’t seem to read this. Is this a youkai language? I’m only familiar with Japanese and French.”

“It’s Japanese!” Mystia’s wings fluttered. “Here I’ll read it out to you.”

\----------------------

-Lxmprxy Skxwxr - 400 yen

-Lxmprxy Sxt - 800 yen  
\--Cxmxs with x sxde xf mxsx sxxp, sxlxd xnd drxnk xf yxxr chxxce.

-Vxgxtxble Txmpxra - 300 yen  
\--Brxng yxxr xwn xngredients and thx prxcx is hxlvxd 

Sides  
\--xxxx  
\-- xxxxx  
\--xx  
\----------------------

Mystia couldn’t believe her eyes. She could barely read her own handwriting.

“Oh. I see the problem now.”

“Oh yea? Is it in Japanese?” Sakuya said in a smug tone.

“Uh yea lets go with that.” With a hand on her chin “That’s weird, every one of my other customers have been able to read it just fine. I wonder what happened.” 

“There was an incident about text disappearing due to a worm youkai that ate text a while back.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Marisa and Reimu had to exterminate a smoke youkai that was used to exterminate the worm youkai. After all, normal smoke can’t be used for youkai.”

“I guess that makes sense?”

“But after the worm youkai and smoke youkai was exterminated, the text went right back to normal. I guess this case was just caused by bad penmanship.”

“Boo. Well I’ll just give you a skewer for your troubles.”

“Oh! How kind of you.”

Mystia sets the grill to start cooking. Fanning the flames to a nice temperature, she then sets the meat to cook. A crackling and sizzling came from the lamprey and left an aroma that few could resist.

“Oh my. This smell is quite different from what we usually serve at the mansion.”

“Oh yea? Bet’cha never heard of salt before.”

“Very funny. Have you ever heard of Marjoram?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah that’s about what I expected.”

“I bet you stopped time and went back to your grand library to look for something exotic.”

“Quite the gambling woman aren’t you? Actually no, I used it in yesterday’s sausage making. Blood sausages are quite popular in the mansion.”

“You just have that stuff on hand, the whatcha-ma-call-em?”

“The herb can’t be found in Gensokyo, the mistress uses her own channels to the outside world.”

“Oh how mysterious, I may just call in a favor one of these days.”

“Pssh.”

“Pfft haha.”

They both share a chuckle. And before they know it, the lamprey is finished.

“Order up. One lamprey skewer on the house.”

“Thank you for the food.”

The maid takes a bite and takes in the flavor.

“Oh! This is quite something. Greasy, full of fat and very very salty. I feel like my veins are going to burst.”

“Oh that? Good for the tastebuds, and even greater for eyesight. Customers can’t get enough of it. Fast, cheap, and greasy. Can’t recommend that you eat these regularly but I won’t stop you.”

“These are amazing. Please! Let me have three more! Oh and a drink as well!”

“Coming right up!”

The grill was on fire that night. Sakuya was chowing down and leaving massive tips. Mystia hasn’t had a better payday in months. That free skewer was probably her best investment yet. Eventually the sun was starting to rise and her only patron was smashed.

“Alright buddy up and at ‘em. I appreciate you leaving tips but carrying you back to your home was not a part of the meal combo.”

Mystia lifted Sakuya’s arm onto her shoulder.

“It’s so stressful keeping up appearances.” Sakuya started to vent. “I barely get to do the things I want! I don’t regularly get to be able to eat food that others do. I have to eat salads and meals that take 12 hours of prep with names that go on and on and on!”

“Yea yea.”

“So.. thank you, Mystia.”

“Must be the alcohol talking.”

“Your stand being open late at night, where nobody should be awake, on a pretty dangerous road where youkai frequent and having no customers was like a blessing.”

“Yeah ain’t that the truth. ”

“Puah.” Sakuya has fallen unconscious. 

“Finally passed out huh. It was easier to carry when you were able to take steps but now I gotta put my back into it.”

Mystia spread her wings and began to take off.

“Oh wait. I guess since you have to keep up appearances, it’d be better if no one saw a lowly bird carrying the esteemed maid. Luckily I have the solution.”

Mystia began singing, and anyone who looked up into the sky that day saw only darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> i needed more mystia slice of life content and what better way than to make it myself. there'll probably be more chapters.


End file.
